Posts Tagged ‘love’

The five senses; Taste, Touch, Site, Sound and Smell are undoubtedly the greatest gifs we will ever receive but how many of us can honestly say that we make the most of all of our senses?

Most of us live our lives, at least to some degree on auto pilot, the days turn into weeks, the weeks into months and before we know it another year has passed us by.

It is possible to ‘slow’ this process down and to get more out of our lives if we chosse to and the main way to do this is by increasing our sensory perception.

“I think this is true for all artists. My senses are very important to me.” – Sharon Olds

Visualisation is a great method for bringing about desired outcomes, in fact the majority of successful people from all walks of life practice it. Rather than just wishing we had something it is much more productive to visualise having it.

Importantly though, to acheive the best results we must ‘visualise’ with all of our senses. By doing this we fully engage our subconscious mind and once we convince it that we really want something it will go into overdrive in order to deliver it to us, that’s what it’s programmed to do.

Practice fully utilising one sense at a time, you’ll be amazed at how clearer your thinking will become. With just a little practice we can double our ability to process and remember information.

“Observe, record, tabulate, communicate. Use your five senses. Learn to see, learn to hear, learn to feel, learn to smell, and know that by practice alone you can become expert.” – William Osler

Greater use of the senses promotes greater understanding, not just of ourselves but of others, we begin to exhibit greater empathy for others and empathy is one of the tools of success. People like people who understand and sympathise with them.

People like people who are like they are.

Whenever I go on holiday I make a conscious effort to remember as much of the experience as possible. Yes, we take snapshots and video but there’s nothing like the memory of actually being there.

People that are unfortunate enough to lack one or more of the senses develop their remaining senses to compensate. Pop Star, Stevie Wonder credits a great deal of his success to his blindness.

Rather than constantly griping and complaining about all the things we lack we should concentrate on celebrating the most wonderful gifts in our posession, our five senses.

“Purity of speech, of the mind, of the senses, and of a compassionate heart are needed by one who desires to rise to the divine platform.” –
Chanakya

Andy.

http://www.wealthnuggets4u.com

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Man befriended the cat many centuries ago. Initially it was because they were skilled at hunting rodents but down the years the bond between humans and felines has become stronger. They make ideal pets because they are relatively low-maintenance.

“When I play with my cat, how do I know that she is not passing time with me rather than I with her?” – Montaigne

We have two cats, a pedigree Blue Persian called ‘Furby’ and a black and white moggy called ‘Gizmo’ I can’t remember when they first started sleeping on our bed at night but at times it can be a real pain.

In fairness Furby isn’t that much trouble but for a small cat even he takes up a lot of room when he stretches out and my wife refuses to move him an inch insisting that he gets a good nights sleep! (What about me?)

Furthermore, he is prone to snoring. Again the sound he makes is totally disproportionate to his size. If I snore my wife unceremoniously digs me in the ribs until I stop but if Furby snores she just coos and says how cute he is.

Gizmo, the moggy is far bigger and although he is a tad overweight he is a powerful cat and at night time he can be a real handful. As soon as we go to bed he will jump up and lie on my chest. I stroke him and he purrs incessantly.

The problems arise when I stop stroking him, he doesn’t like this and he will paw my face in order to make me start again. His pawing regularly draws  blood! but shouting at Gizzy has little effect, he doesn’t like being told off but still it doesn’t deter him.

“After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for future reference.”- Charlotte Gray

After being pushed onto the floor for lacerating my face he will wait a while and then try his luck again. Whenever I wake up his face is always less than six inches away from mine and as soon as he realises I’m awake he starts to purr.

If I get up during the night when I return he kindly vacates my place and goes and stands on the bedside table, he allows me to get back into bed and then comes and lies next to me again.

This may or may not sound cute and most of the time I don’t mind but sometimes it’s nice to have a bit of space.

we recently re furbished our bedroom and decided to invest in a king-sized bed. Problem solved we thought. No chance, we still seem to sleep with minimal space and the cats just have an even comfier nights sleep.

Yes we are barking/meowing mad and tired in the mornings.

“I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.” – Hippolyte Taine

Andy.

http://www.wealthnuggets4u.com

I’ve written numerous articles on this subject in the past many of which I’ve posted on various forums and blogs across the internet and they have always created a lot of interest and reaction, not all of it positive I might add!

There is a lot of moral high ground concerning the subject of looks and ageing but all I can say to the people who congregate up there is that people spends billions of pounds every year on anti-ageing products and procedures so lets stop being so hypocritical about it.

The fact of the matter is that the majority of people want to look better, this may or may not include wanting to look younger. Personally, up until the age of about 23 I hated looking young, I felt that it held me back, it’s only in the last 10 to 15 years that I have actually started to apreciate the fact that I look younger than I actually am.

‘To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early or be respectable.’ (Oscar Wilde)

Regardless of wether you want to look, feel or act younger than you actually are there are certain simple things you can do in order to look and feel healthier.

1. FACE

# Facial hair: Always keep your eyebrows neatly trimmed, bushy/long eyebrows add years to a person and the ‘uni-brow’ is not a desirable look. Definitely no nose or ear hair this is the height of unsightliness.

Some men can look attractive with beards or stubble but they do add between 5-10 years to a man’s perceived age.

# Moisturising: Come on, we are living in the 21st century there’s nothing unmanly about a man who moisturises. Good hair and facial care is bound to pay dividends.

# Sun: Use good sun creams and no sun beds.

2. BODY

The body is most definitely our temple and if we put crap into it we can’t complain if it malfunctions.

# Quit Smoking: The biggest single thing you can do for your body is to free it from the torture of cigarette smoke, trust me it will thank you incessantly.

# Food and water: Eat fruit as soon as you get up, it creates a good chemical reaction in the body, conversely, never eat fruit on a full stomach, ie as a dessert because it creates the opposite effect. Buy fresh fruit and veg and stick it in the fridge so that you see it every time you go for something to nibble on. Drink lots of water.

# Exercise: Do a little every day, some is most definitely better than none, plus try and get more fresh air, again 5 minutes is better than nothing.

# Posture: Stand straight(er) and walk faster. If you saw a person hunched over and shuffling along would you think they were important or even worthy of respect? Good posture makes you look taller and feel better.

# Clothes: Wear smart clothes, they do not have to be expensive, if you are used to or like ‘comfy’ clothes start wearing ‘smarter’ clothes indoors and they will soon start to feel more comfortable.

‘Youth has no age.’ (Pablo Picasso)

3. MIND

# Psychology: People tend to be as old as they want to be, you can be old at 20 and young at 90. I am not suggesting that a person should suddenly start acting as young as their kids, they’d just look stupid but I am a big believer that people of all ages should strive to get along with one another.

We are all living our lives on this planet at the same time. The universe has been around for billions of years so why should age gaps prevent us from communicating effectively and sincerely with one another.

# Meditation: Meditation is as important for the mind and soul as food and water is for the body.

# Laughter: Smile and laugh as much as possible, there is no better medicine or anti-aging product available to mankind than the positive effects on the body of smiling and laughing.

‘Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.’ (Sir Arthur Pinero)

Andy.

www.wealthnuggets4u.com

There are essentially six basic things that all human beings NEED. These are: Air, Food, water, clothing, shelter and sex. Everything else is a bonus. Unfortunately, the more we attain the more we tend to want and this if we are not careful can become extremely self damaging.

“Man is the only animal whose desires increase as they are fed; the only animal that is never satisfied.” (Henry George)

Although all our tastes vary, generally speaking we all want the same things.

If we can identify what these core things are not only will we improve our own quality of life but also that of others. Furthermore, we are paid in proportion to the amount of value we add to society. Therefor, the more value we add the more we will get paid.

Here is a general list (in no particular order) of what I think most people want:

To be loved, financial freedom, happiness for their children, a good partner, a nice house, friends they can trust, a career, a car, to be happy, regular holidays, recognition, to be needed, pets, hobbies, excitement, laughter, to help others, good food, challenges, status, to look good, to feel good, security, comfort, freedom, sport, entertainment, choice…

I suggest that you draw up your own personal list of what YOU want and then prioritise it, I guarantee you’ll be surprised by it. You have to be really honest though because much of our early lives are spent being pre-conditioned. From an early age we are told what we should and shouldn’t like, we need to strip away this pre-conditioning in order to get to the truth of what it is we really want.

Once you know what it is you REALLY want you can start to go after it.

Most elderly people don’t regret the lack of material goods in their lives they regret the lack of emotional fulfillment. They say things like they wished they’d laughed more or stayed in contact with their old friends or cared about people more.

“Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the acheivement of one’s values.” (Ayn Rand)

Money and material goods are important, particularly if you suffer from a lack of them but we should always keep them in perspective and moreover be grateful for what we DO have. Instead of always chasing the rainbow we should concentrate on FEELING HAPPY NOW.

“The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp.” (John Berry)

If we can acheive true happiness for ourelves and those around us I think we will have acheived our main purpose in life.

Andy.

Wether we like it or not competition is all around us. It’s in the classroom, the play ground, the work place, it’s on the sports field, it’s on the high street. We are never going to get away from it so how we deal with it is obviously critical to our own personal success.

Just because competition is ubiquitous it does not naturally follow that it is good for us. Food is critical to sustaining life but if we eat too much of it we become overweight and lethargic.

Competition has many benefits though. It brings progress, improved choice, we all want to purchase better products for less money. We all want a better lifestyle for ourselves and our families.

Children learn about competition from an early age. In fact as soon as they start to interact with their peers they instinctively start to compete with them. It is therefor important that parents and teachers give support and guidance to the child on how to deal with competition and all the positive and negative emotions that surround it.

I’ve said many times previously that a parent should praise their children’s EFFORT not their ABILITY. The reason for this is psychological. Praising someone’s effort encourages them to try even harder whereas praising their ability nurtures within them a ‘fear of failure’.

Children are often branded as failures way too early in life and this can inflict massive psychological damage upon them. We cannot all be good at everything but most of us are good at something. Children should be encouraged to focus on their strong points. These are what will bring them success and enable them to offer the best level of contribution to society.

If we harness competition and control it, it can do wonderful things for us. The enjoyment that the human race has derived from sport down the years is immense. The rivalry between teams of all denominations has given us all untold pleasure.

Competition is good as long as we control it and harness it. However, we need to keep success and winning in perspective. Everything has a price and once we start ‘overpaying’ in order to succeed then we start to loose out in other areas.

I’ve always believed that the main aim of a person’s life is to be happy. Happiness is the best feeling in the world and if being successful at something makes us happy then we should strive to acheive it.

Find out what really makes you happy, decide what you are prepared to give or give up in order to acheive it and go for it.

I believe that competition in moderation is good for us.

Andy.

It’s the easiest thing in the world to get stuck in a rut, we’ve all done it. Practicing bad habits over a period of weeks, months and even years, then we wake up one day and think how did this happen to me? how did my life become like this? it’s not how I intended it to be, it’s not how I intended to be at all.

We all had fantastic dreams when we were kids, we wanted to be all manner of things; astronauts, football players, models, actors.

Then we hit adolescenece and we started to think differently, by this time we’d been sufficiently conditioned by society to think small, to be sensible and to accept our lot.

Why should we limit ourselves?

Why shouldn’t we think big and if we’ve done things we regret or not been a very nice person we CAN change it, we can set the record straight not just for other people but for ourselves.

Jim Rohn, the legendary personal development specialist once said “Work hard at your job and you will make a living, work hard on yourself and you will make a fortune”.

How true this is, even a little time spent working on ourselves will yield rewards, just admitting that we should strive to improve ourselves is a major acheivement.

I’ve always said that a total life transformation takes about five years but as soon as a person begins working on themselves they will see changes immediately and not just small ones either. But habits both good and bad are hard-wired into our brains so if we want to change them we have to be prepared to be persistent.

When we are looking for a starting point for how we can improve our lives the best place is with the concepts of COMPROMISE and EMPATHY.

If we can make ourselves just 10% easier to deal with both in our business and personal lives then our world’s will take on a much happier complexion. Once people realise that we are making more of an effort with them they will reciprocate it, often to a much greater degree.

We are by nature very impressionable so the company we keep is vital, we should strive to get good people around us – our own personal support group and avoid NEGATIVE people at all costs. Negative people are like parasites they feed off and sap other people’s energy.

Many famous people have turned their lives around so I recommend delving into biography.com occasionally to see how the did it.

There is good and bad in everyone, thus it is vital that we are not too harsh on ourselves and we make our personal development goals small and achievable.

We are our own masters, we are free thinkers, we can be whatever we want to be.

Andy.

we’ve all had that feeling, a person we like or who we are attracted to walks into the room and suddenly our heart rate picks up, we become all fidgety and lead-footed and inexplicably we seem to loose the power of speach, well coherent speach anyway.

” Ah fah cowa da me Andy, you…” – You get my drift.

It’s human nature, we’ve all felt that way at some time or other. However, every time we speak to a person we learn more about human interaction.

If only we could speak to an ‘attractive’ member of the opposite sex with the same composure that we display when speaking to ‘old aunty Ethel’ say, ‘she’ thinks we are witty, charming AND good looking…hmm, how do we transfer this self assurity to people we are attracted to then?

The glib answer would be to treat them exactly the same,  the same as ‘old aunty Ethel’ but think about this for a minute, if we were actually capable of doing this would it get us results?

YES, OF COURSE IT WOULD. We would come across as calm, friendly and genuine, everything a good friend should be and the best relationships are always born out of good friendships.

So to qualify as a good friend we have to be ‘calm, friendly and genuine’ NOT good looking, NOT a brilliant speaker, NOT popular, NOT sporty and NOT intellegent…Hmm, I can manage that.

The true art of speaking to members of the opposite sex is to treat them EXACTLY the same as you would your buddies, that’s it in a nutshell, no one-liners, no showing off, just you being you.

IF YOU GRASP OR BUY INTO THIS CONCEPT THEN YOU CAN START WORKING ON IT AND IT WILL TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

If you don’t then that’s up to you but people are becomming more and more sophisticated these days and most of us are capable of spotting a phoney a mile off.

People will be pleasantly surpised by your genuineness, your ‘normallness’, these character traits create interest and more importantly they create TRUST.

Put romance on the back burner and simply concentrate on making friends. Really listen to people, find out what they are good at and what you have in common with them, then TELL them you have these things in common.

People like people who are like they are, they don’t like people who disagree with them.

Do not obsess about one individual, there really are ‘plenty more fish in the sea’ we cannot force anyone to like us and if someone doesn’t like us they will not be right for us, do not be second best or settle for second best, those kind of relationships are built on sand.

A few tips to grease the wheels of friendship AND romance:

# Smile slowly, it comes across as far more genuine and specially reserved for the recipient.

# Women are attracted to the colour blue (reliable, assertive, kind), men are attracted to the colour pink (friendly and approachable)

# Dress smartly, dress is very important, if you dont feel comfortable in smart clothes practice wearing them in private. Wear them primarily for you to make yourself feel good.

# Smell nice, people place far too much emphasis on looks, smell is probably more important and it takes zero effort.

# Be in the know, gen up on titbits, interesting news items, sport, finance. You don’t have to be an expert just read the headlines.

Practice makes perfect and the content of the opening line is UNIMPORTANT, it’s the icebreaker and people will love you for offering them a few friendly words, and if they don’t they are either having a bad day, are preoccupied with something or they are ignorant.

Whatever it is don’t let it spoil your day.

Andy.

How many times do we say to ourselves:-

“I’ll be really happy when this or that happens, when I get more money, a better job, perfect partner…” or any number of other things?

Often when people do eventually realise their dreams they don’t make them happy at all in fact in many cases it has the reverse effect. Most lottery winners do not know how to handle their new lifestyles and subsequently their new found wealth makes them miserable.

“All I want is the chance to prove that money wont make me happy!” – Spike Milligan.

Life is too short to put happiness on hold, instead we should concentrate on being happy TODAY.

This state is a lot easier to achieve than you may think. By focusing on actually being happy instead of attaining the things we BELIEVE will make us happy we are short-cicuiting the system.

We are speeding up the process and greatly increasing the chances of attaining true happiness.

Most governments don’t believe that happiness is an important enough subject to merit serious investment or research  but personally, I think it is our biggest desire, everybody wants to be happy, so we should invest as much time and effort as it takes

How can we become happier?

There are lots of things we can do to make us happier but first and foremost we must DECIDE that we are going to BE happy. Most of us spend our whole lives working towards goals of one sort or another but how much time do we invest in trying to feel happier?

Once you have commited your conscious mind to something your subconscious will go into overdrive trying to fulfill that commitment.

This is so important that I’m going to reiterate it. Once you’ve commited to something your whole being will do it’s damndest to bring it about.

Happiness is no exception but if you achieve it, it will bring you the greatest rewards.

Here are some suggestions on how to feel happier.

1. Live your life one day, even one hour at a time.

2. Gratitude; practice being grateful for everything.

3. Smile; Your brain will automatically think you ARE happy.

4. Exercise; This creates endorphins (happy chemicals)

5. Treat yourself at least once a day.

6. Do a good turn for someone or buy someone a present.

7. Spend time with your pets, if you’ve not got one then buy one.

8. Plan a day out or a holiday. (Something to look forward to)

9. Affirmations, “I am BECOMMING happier.” (Doesn’t create conflict)

10. Invest time into becomming happy.

There are lots of things in this world that will remain out of our reach and we will not always achieve our goals.

Happiness is one of the few things that we do have TOTAL control of, external events can only effect our personal lives if we allow them to.

Happiness IS a choice, a way of life.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor Frankl. (Holocaust survivor)

Andy.

A few years back now I split up from my long-term partner, the details are not really that important but for the record neither of us were unfaithful, in hindsight I suppose the relationship just ground to a halt, however, she left me and at the time it was very upsetting and I’m not ashamed to admit that in the early days I was a little frightened.

Life is strange though and a few weeks into the seperation I began to find my feet, I felt like I had been released and in fairness my ex-partner probably felt the same way. The most important thing I learned from this experience was this:

If you are not happy with someone then split up from them.

Whatever you do do not keep making excuses, the kids will automatically be happier if you are, you will sort the finances out, your friends will either be loyal or they wont, who cares?

Do not get trapped in a poor relationship, it may be a cliche but life really is way to short to waste it being unhappy.

So anyway you’ve got the background, I was in my early thirties with a longstanding relationship well and truly behind me, I was coping really well, the household chores were a breeze, but they are when you have only yourself to look after but things were so much better than I’d imagined they would be.

The only thing was, being on your own every night, you soon get bored. All the ex-joint-friends scene did not work for me, of course I tried it for a while but it was at best awkward and at the worst downright annoying, they all favoured my ex and besides that there was just too much history. So one night I made a decision and it was not an easy one.

I went out with my so-called friends and told them exactly what I thought about them, I was quite nervous about doing it but in hindsight it was the best thing that I have ever done. Do not feel too obliged to your joint friends, they are just peripheral and rarely have your best intentions at heart, put yourself first, selfishness in this respect is not as bad as people make out.

NIGHT ONE:- WITHOUT PAINFUL JOINT-FRIENDS.

This was hard and wether a girl could dp it without at least one friend I’m unsure. I went into a strange pub, well away from where anyone would know me and stood at the bar. I am quite a chatty person but there is a bit of a stigma about going out on your own, you must ignore this and just do it.

After about three weekends I started to fit into this new community. I forgot to say, I declined the opportunity to move back ‘home’ after the split and back to all my old mates, I did not want to go back for many reasons, not least was that I had bettered myself and I did not want to give this new lifestyle up.

Maybe I will share more of this story with you at a later date but for now I want to concentrate on the theme of this article:

How a person can find a partner.

This experience and what I learned in my earlier years are absolutely foolproof to finding a partner, one that is attractive and funny, wether they are right for you is a totally different topic and one that I will not discuss here because I do not want to complicate things, I know millions of people, many of them attractive, struggle to find a partner so tonight I am going to concentrate on just that.

I appologise if the following format seems a bit regimented but If you were going shopping or attending an interview then you would probably make a list. If you are serious about finding a partner then you will do it if not then don’t overdo that meal for one in the microwave again tonight.

1. Frequent the same or similar places every week, this will give potential suitors a chance to get to know your movements, do not let the creeps that may tag along put you off, be strong and don’t let them sidetrack you from your ‘goal’ The right person or people, you will get a choice, will start to turn up.

2. When someone you fancy comes into view smile and gesticulate a lot, even if it makes little sense to your friends, by doing this you are sending out massive approachable signals. Also hair preening gives out positive approach me kind of vibes.

3. Do not be afraid to make the first move and if you do just say the first thing that comes into your mind, nothing too heavy, just conversational and see what happens.

4. If I had to give just one piece of dating advice it would be this: Treat all members of the opposite sex as you would your mates. This sounds so simple but it is extremely effective. Obviously I am male but it works just the same for females. If you treat every woman as your buddy they are intrigued, they are so used to men feeding them a line or hitting on them that something happens and they become interested in you.

It happens time and time again and this is why it happens. First and foremost we want our partner to be our best fiend, the sex comes second, it’s not rocket science. We as humans just like to complicate things instead of trusting in core values.

5. Gen up on topical events, listen to the news headlines before you go on a night out, it doesn’t need to be anything too heavy but everyone likes a person that is up to date with what is going on in the world, especially the funny stuff.

6. If the right person does not come along then STAY ON YOUR OWN. The one thing that is worse than not finding the right partner is finding the wrong one.

I think the final point may be too negative to finish on but it is still valid. If you keep repeating your habits and exercise patience Mr/Mrs Right will sail right in and you will have the wherewithall to pull them.

I’m interested , what are your tips on finding a partner, what would you tell the millions of people who are seeking  love?

Good luck,

Andy ONeill.

http://www.wealthnuggets4u.com