Archive for the ‘nostalgia’ Category

 

Everyone loves a scandal, none of us like to admit it but who could honestly say they have never gossiped about anyone?

People have gossiped since the birth of mankind, there is obviously something very addictive about it, it’s ingrained in our psyche and although it is wrong and often unfair people we will never stop doing it.

“A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.” – John Tudor

Gossip is one way of letting off steam about the frustrations of our own lives. We all strive for bigger, better and more rewarding lives and when we struggle to meat our own expectations other peoples’ misfortunes become an antidote for our own shortcomings.

We all love to bring people down a peg or two especially if they are perceived to be doing better than us.

Jealousy is a catalyst of rumour and scandal. Revenge is never pleasant and it’s often as harmful for the perpitrator as it is for the recipient. Therefor, it is unwise to disrespsct people just because we don’t like them, or we believe they have done something to upset us.

Celebrities are an easy target of the rumour mill. We could argue that the extreme scrutiny they are subject to comes with the territory but they are still human beings with the same frailties as everyone else and they are entitled to their privacy.

“It is the gossip columnist’s business to write about what is none of his business.” – Louis Kronenberger

Don’t get me wrong, some celebrities make a living just from being a celebrity and if you make a living just from being in the news then you have to be prepared to accept the negative consequences.

But genuine ‘A’ list celebrities, people who are famous for what they actually do or what they contribute towards society should be given a certain amount of freedom so they can live their lives in a relatively normal way.

Unfortunately, bad news sells, hence the media exploit and exagerate it, it boosts their ratings, which is fine, they are doing their job, they are giving us what we want. However, what do the media do when there is no bad news to report and their ratings start to suffer?. Obviously, they go looking for more bad news or worse still they invent it.

Revelling in other people’s problems make us feel better about our own. It’s human nature to enjoy feeling superior and self-righteous, it makes us feel good, It satisfys some inner need.

Communication is the life blood of society so we could argue it would be foolish to try to supress it. Improved communication makes the world a smaller place and that for the main part is a good thing. The more we talk to one another the more tolerant we become of each others views.

Gossip is just the down side of communication, it’s like a raw material before it has been processed and purified to make the finished product. It’s always better to get our facts straight before we pass on any information and if we do have to gossip it’s more constructive to concentrate on the positive because the negative can be extremely dangerous.

People take insults to their graves, we are all a lot more sensitve than we like to admit, a loose comment can create a life-long enemy and the fewer of those we have the better.

Knowing that people will always gossip and talk about us as much as they talk to us we can use the ‘grapevine’ to our own advatage. For example we can praise people that are important to us as long as the praise is genuine of course, sure enough the praise will eventually find it’s way back to them. Furthermore, if we know someone is prone to gossiping we can use them to spread news fast.

Words are extremely powerful and if we can limit the amount of times we criticise and/or disagree with people to a minimum then we will undoubtedly improve our own lives.

we all live in glass houses and if we throw a rock at someone they have a tendency to throw one back.

“Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a Gossip.” – Richard Steele

Andy.

http://www.wealthnuggets4u.com

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We buy things for many reasons, we buy lots of things we need and lots of things we don’t need. If you have serious designs on making money it is vital that you understand why people buy.

# Necessity:

We can’t live without things such as food, water, shelter etc, so we have to aquire them. However there is a subtle difference between actual necessities and perceived necessities.

Human beings can be extremely impulsive and exposure to products and services can make us think that we cannot live without them. Furthermore we are very susceptible to the power of peer pressure. ‘The kid next door has got a new bike so our kids have to have one.’

We actually feel guilty or bad if we don’t buy our kids everything their conmtemporaries have. Thus, we as a society leave ourselves wide open to exploitation by the advertising industry.

“An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.” –  Pliny the Younger (62 AD – 114 AD)

# Emotions:

Our emotions play a great part in our shopping habits, lots of people comfort-shop, they buy things to give themselves a boost. Our mood is easily manipulated and our senses our susceptible to music, visual displays, enticing smells etc.

We buy for fun, we buy things that give us pleasure, we buy things that make us feel good, we buy to escape reality.

Mementos are also big sellers, there is nothing we like more than something that reminds us of a cherished memory – The power of nostalgia is immense.

We are all capable of greed, we all love a bargain, we all buy bulk items that we will never use.

# Real benefits:

We are fortunate to live at a time of great technological advancement, the labour-saving devices that have become available to us over the last 50 years have been astonishing.

Most of us like to improve ourselves, we will buy something if it will educate us or our children. Education is now available to a large proportion of us whereas less than a hundred years ago it was only available to a priviliged few. Furthermore the internet has made it possible for us to access information like never before.

We also buy things that we hope will make us money, we invest in all manner of things from jewellry to stocks and shares.

“To have little is to possess. To have plenty is to be perplexed.
Lao-tzu.” (604 BC – 531 BC)

# Image:

Everyone loves to look and feel good. image and prestige are both key buying motivators, if something makes us look good in the eyes of other people then we will buy it.

# Health: If we don’t have our health then we have nothing. People will pay to become healthier. Too often though we think we can get a ‘bargain’ a ‘quick fix’. Prevention is always better than the cure, moderation in all things

# Influences:

I started my career in retailing so I know a bit about sales psychology. I think the most important thing you can convey to someone in order to get them ito buy from you is TRUST.

We all like to buy from people we trust, someone that is going to make sure we get value for money, someone who is going to guide us through the minefields of their particular product or service. Trust is a key ingredient of repeat business.

Top advertisers and retailers are extremely adept at influencing our decision making when it comes to buying things, they create the right ambience for their products and services. They appeal to our ego’s, they make us think buying their goods will improve us in all manner of ways.

Personally, apart from life-saving products I think freedom and space are the most important commodities. If we can acheive these things then we owe it to ourselves to find the time to enjoy them.

“Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it.” F. Rochefoucauld (1613 – 1680)

Andy.

http://www.wealthnuggets4u.com

Clothes shopping is definitely a passtime that divides the sexes. Most women love it and most men hate it. Personally, I can just about tolerate it, I like OWNING new clothes but going shopping for them is a different matter.

I always try-on new clothes before buying them because they can look totally different on than they do hung up in the shop. I always tend to be with my wife when I shop for clothes. The reason for this is probably a combination of her motivating me to buy them and me trusting her taste, if she doesn’t like it I wont buy it.

Her judgement I can handle but most of the male changing rooms in the Uk have a waiting area where all the repective wives and girlfriends congregate. The upshot is that you end up modelling the clothes not just for your own partner but for a host of other women you have never met before as well.

By the end of a clothes buying session I feel that I know these women personally, afterall, most of them will have commented, to my wife more than me, on how I look in numerous different shirts and pairs of trousers. ‘Shucks, the mere thought of it is making me feel all embarassed.’

How come there’s no waiting area for the men in the female changing rooms? They probably use the space to stow all the ‘unsuitable’ shoes and handbags.

What is it with women and handbags? (closely followed by shoes)

Why do women have to posess upwards of thirty handbags? I just dont get it. Yeah, okay they need somewhere to put all their girlie-stuff and I understand the need to match the handbag to the outfit but 30, 40 or even 50 of the damn things, it’s just absurd.

I think a more realistic luggage allowance would be 20kg for men and 100kg for women, ‘That’s including shoes girls put those back in the wardrobe NOW.’ On our last trip abroad I was only allowed 2 pairs of shoes, whilst my wife somehow scraped by with 7.

Why have women never got anything to wear?

This is another fashion mystery, how can it be physically possible to have nothing to wear when you spend half your waking life shopping for clothes?
 
Most items women buy go straight in the wardrobe and next see the light of day when they decide to have the ‘old season clearout’. Why buy something if you are never going to wear it, guys will wear things until they are worn out and THEN utilise them for wearing whilst doing the gardening or DIY.

I once left my wife alone for 10 minutes in our local village center and when I met up with her again she’d bought a new dress! I vaguely remember her saying something about how it was an absolute bargain and it would’ve been foolish of her NOT to buy it…hmm. Foolish of me more like.

There is no doubt about it women love clothes and a word to the wise for the boys, women ALSO like men who wear nice clothes, I’ve even heard women describe men by what they were wearing and not by what they looked like.

‘Scary, consign that old wardrobe to the gardening shed guys and go out and buy yourselves a new one. That’s if you can you can get past all the women blocking the entrance to the male changing rooms of course.’

Andy.

Everybody has felt embarassed at one time or another. You know that feeling, when you just wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole…

Back when I was studying for my ‘O’ Levels I decided to take a night off from revising and go to the local park with some friends. It was the night before an exam and I figured that if I didn’t know my stuff by that stage then I never would.

This is how God paid me back.

I remember it was a beautiful evening, the sun was shinning and the summer holidays were within touching distance, everything in the world felt good.

There were loads of kids at the park that night, there was a real buzz about the place and at the age of 16 this summer was the last one my friends and I would experience as ‘children’, for next year we would all be working or taking up places at college.

This was definitely a time to savour and we all sensed it.

There were loads of girls around that night and all us boys were showing off terribly. I was a good footballer back then and in hindsight I think I was a bit too cocky for my own good.

We’d played football for ages, with all the girls cheering us on before a large group of us moved over to the tennis courts, I’ve never been into tennis so I decided to chill out on the embankment outside the courts.

My cousin was one of the guys playing, and after a few games he came over to the chicken-wire fence to chat with us.

I remember him asking me if I wanted a can of coke, I was thirsty so I said that I did but I couldn’t be bothered to walk round and get it from him so I told him to toss it over the fence to me.

I think you can see what’s comming next…I certainly didn’t.

I was laid back on the embankment, I didn’t even stand up in order to catch the can, I figured that I’d catch it right there where I lay – WRONG!

I remember following the arc of the can as it came over the fence, then losing it in the evening sunshine…(that’s my excuse anyway)

That damned can it me so hard, it caught me square on my forehead (I’ve still got the scar to this day, it makes me look like I have a widdow’s peak).

What happened next kind of played out in slow motion, I could hear people howling with laughter, I staggered to my feet feeling acutely embarrassed, a  group of girls had witnessed the whole incident and I felt totally mortified.

Why had I expected to catch that can whilst I was reclining in such a position?

Fortunately or unfortunately for me my embarrassment was quickly overtaken by fear, anyone who has ever suffered a head wound will know how profusely they bleed and in no time at all I was drenched in my own blood.

I wish I could say that I turned the whole situation around and became the wounded hero but I didn’t, I just remember feeling like a complete prat.

My friend’s dad drove me to hospital, (we didn’t have a car back then) and the next day I took my exam sporting six stitches and a dull headache. I’ve had quite a few embarrassing moments since then but none of them have felt quite as excruciating as the day I was taken out by that can of Coke.

The embarrassment we experience as teenagers always seems to be more intense than at any other time in our lives.

I’ll share some of these other embarassing moments with you another time and furthermore, I’ll discuss the concept of embarrassment and how best to deal with it.

Andy.

It’s the easiest thing in the world to get stuck in a rut, we’ve all done it. Practicing bad habits over a period of weeks, months and even years, then we wake up one day and think how did this happen to me? how did my life become like this? it’s not how I intended it to be, it’s not how I intended to be at all.

We all had fantastic dreams when we were kids, we wanted to be all manner of things; astronauts, football players, models, actors.

Then we hit adolescenece and we started to think differently, by this time we’d been sufficiently conditioned by society to think small, to be sensible and to accept our lot.

Why should we limit ourselves?

Why shouldn’t we think big and if we’ve done things we regret or not been a very nice person we CAN change it, we can set the record straight not just for other people but for ourselves.

Jim Rohn, the legendary personal development specialist once said “Work hard at your job and you will make a living, work hard on yourself and you will make a fortune”.

How true this is, even a little time spent working on ourselves will yield rewards, just admitting that we should strive to improve ourselves is a major acheivement.

I’ve always said that a total life transformation takes about five years but as soon as a person begins working on themselves they will see changes immediately and not just small ones either. But habits both good and bad are hard-wired into our brains so if we want to change them we have to be prepared to be persistent.

When we are looking for a starting point for how we can improve our lives the best place is with the concepts of COMPROMISE and EMPATHY.

If we can make ourselves just 10% easier to deal with both in our business and personal lives then our world’s will take on a much happier complexion. Once people realise that we are making more of an effort with them they will reciprocate it, often to a much greater degree.

We are by nature very impressionable so the company we keep is vital, we should strive to get good people around us – our own personal support group and avoid NEGATIVE people at all costs. Negative people are like parasites they feed off and sap other people’s energy.

Many famous people have turned their lives around so I recommend delving into biography.com occasionally to see how the did it.

There is good and bad in everyone, thus it is vital that we are not too harsh on ourselves and we make our personal development goals small and achievable.

We are our own masters, we are free thinkers, we can be whatever we want to be.

Andy.

There’s something so good and wholesome about nostalgia, it gives us a warm glow and makes us feel better about our lives, but were things really so much better in the past than they are right now?

Of course not, it’s just that we choose to remember things that way. The past is safe, it’s done with, unlike the present it doesn’t hold any uncertainty for us.

Nostalgia is in fact a natural anti-depressant, the brain’s way of giving us a tonic or a pick-me-up. Nostalgia is almost always associated with positive events even when the trigger for the memory is something negative.

Mondays tend to be the day when most people experience nostalgia because as the brain struggles to re-motivate us after the weekend it has to fight against our unwillingness to get back into the work routine. So it’s way of appeasing us is to make us feel happier about our lot by recalling a host of good memories.

I personally don’t like to holiday in the same place twice, apart from wanting to see as much of the world as possible I believe that re-visiting a place can tarnish the original memory, and there’s nothing worse than having your cherished memories shot to peices.

Nostalgia is a very powerful feeling and one that advertisers and marketers exploit to the full. They focus on the prefered era of their target audience and then do all they can to transport us back to it, back to a time when things just seemed to feel better. Once they’ve got us feeling all ga-ga they make an association to their product and they’ve got us. Simples!

We start experiencing feelings of loss and nostalgia from the age of seven, and these feelings effect every single one of us.

As well as making us feel better nostalgia has two other important functions. It helps to create bonds between us and it also boosts an individual’s self-esteem. These two things are vital for producing successful groups, teams and even societies.

Knowing how important nostalgia is you can start putting it to good use in your life, remeniscing with people automatically creates ‘history’ with them even if your memories are totally different and subsequently the bonding process is greatly accelerated.

Even in a short space of time it’s possible to get a broad overview of a person’s character, then by repeating their beliefs and sayings back to them they will automatically start to bond with you. If you are in a sales orientated profession and most of us are at least to some extent, then this is a vital skill to master because people prefer to deal with people who are like THEY are.

Personally, I like looking at really old photographs, there was something great and yet so innocent about the people back then…er sorry, I must stop doing that.

I’ll stop it now.

Andy.