we’ve all had that feeling, a person we like or who we are attracted to walks into the room and suddenly our heart rate picks up, we become all fidgety and lead-footed and inexplicably we seem to loose the power of speach, well coherent speach anyway.

” Ah fah cowa da me Andy, you…” – You get my drift.

It’s human nature, we’ve all felt that way at some time or other. However, every time we speak to a person we learn more about human interaction.

If only we could speak to an ‘attractive’ member of the opposite sex with the same composure that we display when speaking to ‘old aunty Ethel’ say, ‘she’ thinks we are witty, charming AND good looking…hmm, how do we transfer this self assurity to people we are attracted to then?

The glib answer would be to treat them exactly the same,  the same as ‘old aunty Ethel’ but think about this for a minute, if we were actually capable of doing this would it get us results?

YES, OF COURSE IT WOULD. We would come across as calm, friendly and genuine, everything a good friend should be and the best relationships are always born out of good friendships.

So to qualify as a good friend we have to be ‘calm, friendly and genuine’ NOT good looking, NOT a brilliant speaker, NOT popular, NOT sporty and NOT intellegent…Hmm, I can manage that.

The true art of speaking to members of the opposite sex is to treat them EXACTLY the same as you would your buddies, that’s it in a nutshell, no one-liners, no showing off, just you being you.

IF YOU GRASP OR BUY INTO THIS CONCEPT THEN YOU CAN START WORKING ON IT AND IT WILL TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

If you don’t then that’s up to you but people are becomming more and more sophisticated these days and most of us are capable of spotting a phoney a mile off.

People will be pleasantly surpised by your genuineness, your ‘normallness’, these character traits create interest and more importantly they create TRUST.

Put romance on the back burner and simply concentrate on making friends. Really listen to people, find out what they are good at and what you have in common with them, then TELL them you have these things in common.

People like people who are like they are, they don’t like people who disagree with them.

Do not obsess about one individual, there really are ‘plenty more fish in the sea’ we cannot force anyone to like us and if someone doesn’t like us they will not be right for us, do not be second best or settle for second best, those kind of relationships are built on sand.

A few tips to grease the wheels of friendship AND romance:

# Smile slowly, it comes across as far more genuine and specially reserved for the recipient.

# Women are attracted to the colour blue (reliable, assertive, kind), men are attracted to the colour pink (friendly and approachable)

# Dress smartly, dress is very important, if you dont feel comfortable in smart clothes practice wearing them in private. Wear them primarily for you to make yourself feel good.

# Smell nice, people place far too much emphasis on looks, smell is probably more important and it takes zero effort.

# Be in the know, gen up on titbits, interesting news items, sport, finance. You don’t have to be an expert just read the headlines.

Practice makes perfect and the content of the opening line is UNIMPORTANT, it’s the icebreaker and people will love you for offering them a few friendly words, and if they don’t they are either having a bad day, are preoccupied with something or they are ignorant.

Whatever it is don’t let it spoil your day.

Andy.

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